hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just found puke in my bra..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
