Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
