this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
