Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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