bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
