Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize