i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
