Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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