it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
