Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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