Are we in a gay sports bar?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
