I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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