I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
