i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
