you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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