The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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