So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
