the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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