The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
