the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The air was thick with penises
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
