i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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