Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize