just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Someone signed my nipple.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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