I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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