Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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