I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
