Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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