That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
