My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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