i need an iv and a liver transplant
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize