Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
