Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
