Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
