I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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