just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
