Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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