When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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