she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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