ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
