btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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