Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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