Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
