We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
