I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
