She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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