Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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