Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My life is pants optional.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
