She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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