party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
