how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
