how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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