3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
