Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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