I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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