Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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