doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
