Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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