I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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