So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
