i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
