He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
