I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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