if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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