If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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