I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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