every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
