Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
