so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My cat gives me a boner
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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