I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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