you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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