Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
